There’s a part of me that’s tempted to wade boldly into the fight over whether the state should finally dump federal deductibility, or the ability of Iowans to deduct fed taxes from what they owe the state.
It’s a big issue. But, honestly, I sent that part of me out to get kolaches.
So if you’re looking for keen analysis weighing the benefits to our optical tax rates realized by elimination vs. the threat of bracket creep, your flogging up the wrong blog.
All I know is that if the Legislature is going to take away a deduction, they ought to add some back in. It’s only fair.
I have 5 ideas.
1. Drinkability Deductibility — This break would recognize the economic and environmental benefits created by Iowans, like myself, who buy beer by the keg — which save aluminum and glass, are reusable and slice fossil fuel demand by requiring fewer beer runs.
And what was I doing when I came up with this concept? I’d rather not say.
2. Gullibility Deductibility — Iowans should get to deduct the cost of any product they buy late at night — Snuggies, Shamwow, Loud ‘N Clear etc., or the loss of any unused gold jewelery they put in a durable envelop and sent to strangers far away.
3. Football Insatiability Deductibility — A tax break for the price of season tickets, NFL Sunday Ticket, tailgating tents, flags, car decals, helmet-shaped grills, jerseys, hats, bumblebee bib overalls, toddler-sized football uniforms/cheerleading uniforms, mailboxes, garden gnomes in team colors, golf club covers, dog sweaters, bottle openers that play a fight song, team Christmas ornaments and therapy.
4. Compatibility Deductibility — Married couples get a tax break for every single blissful year they endure, er, I mean, enjoy together.
5. Twitterability Deductibility — A 0.0001-cent tax cut for every Tweet. That ought to deal the final death blow to the last remaining remnants of your internal dialogue.
I know what you’re thinking. These are really bad ideas.
Oh yeah? Well what have you got, smarty pants?