Super Tuesday vs. Super Storm

1. Super Storm — Time it took to snowblow my drifted driveway and buried sidewalks: More than an hour.

Super Tuesday — Time it took for the Fox Decision Desk to declare winners and bury losers once the polls closed in several states: About 5 seconds.

2. Super Storm — Just when you think you’re done shoveling, a pathologically merciless snow plow driver shows up and fills the end of your driveway.

Super Tuesday — Just when you think promising early returns might indicate a big night for Obama, the pathologically conniving Clintons rise up to halt his surge.

3. Super Storm — Can it please stop snowing already?

Super Tuesday — Can Mitt Romney please stop wasting his childrens’ inheritance already?

4. Super Storm — The more snow we get, the more bitter this winter becomes.

Super Tuesday — The more Hannity, Limbaugh, Ingraham and Coulter bitterly pile on McCain, the more attractive he becomes.

5. Super Tuesday — Disturbing demographic divisions as Obama wins with blacks but loses among Hispanics and Clinton wins women but falters with men.

Super Storm — Disturbing gender divisions as a disproportionate number of men push shovels and snowblowers while a disproportionate number of women are stuck with crazed, snow-bound children.

6. Super Storm — Local TV reporters stand shivering in front of snow drifts and don’t tell us anything useful.

Super Tuesday — National TV journalists stand clueless in front of multi-colored maps and don’t tell us anything useful.

7. Super Storm — Low pressure on top of us.

Super Tuesday — George Stephanopoulos.

8. Super Storm — This winter will never end.

Super Tuesday — This campaign will never end.



Filed under Iowa Caucuses, presidential politics, super storm, super tuesday

4 responses to “Super Tuesday vs. Super Storm

  1. Sarah A.

    Cost of salt: $5.99/20 pound bag

    Shoveling the sidewalk within 24 hours to avoid a $40 ticket from the city: near heart attack.

    Reading Dorman’s blog: Priceless

  2. timmyhawk

    Similarities between weatherman and pundits both telling us nothing useful is asbsoultely right on and brilliant.

  3. jackattack

    I love this!

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